Saturday, July 16, 2011
lots on my mind
So lately I have been rethinking somethings and coming to some pretty extreme conclusions. I am not as happy as I pretend to be. I am getting tired of putting up with nasty attitudes, quick tempers, and the reasoning of oh things will change. And when I stand up for myself I get that I am being a bitch and too harsh and told to "chill out!". Well, I am sick of always being blamed for things whether or not I have done them, getting bitched if I do something that is an accident and assuming that I have done it on purpose. I am tired of no respect. I am tired of subtle postings on fb that are directed at me and about me. I Am The ADULT! Lately all I want is to run away. I thought that things were going to get better after the adult children moved out and I would get some help around here, but that hasn't happened. I don't want to make another fresh start, but at the same time I know that things are not going to change, and I am closer to my dream of having a baby than I have ever been. At least I have a house to live in so if I have one we have a place to live, but at what cost? I don't want any child of mine to grow up with no respect for me, because that would be learned form someone else that lives here too, and I don't want my child to learn the nasty attitude that someone else in the house also has. And I know that one person in this house WANTS me GONE, and it doesn't matter what I do or say, one little firm statement and I get the attitude of "now I want to beat someone up."
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