Waiting Very Patiently

I ordered a deck of tarot cards two weeks ago and I am waiting very patiently, albeit anxiously, for them to arrive.  It has been a while since I last read the tarot and know I am out of practice, so I am looking forward to the challenge of reading them again.  The deck that is coming is the ancestral path tarot, a deck that I learned on (that deck is now long gone).  The images on these cards are amazing and hold a lot of symbolism for me.  Like I said -waiting anxiously for them.  I hope they arrive soon.

My Mom

I was just checking my facebook page and upon scrolling through looking at everyone's post I came face to face with a picture of my mother.  Now my mom passed away in 1999 so it is not her account.  It was posted by my ex-husband with the title of "two of my best friends"  (there was another person in the pic as well).  It is very disconcerting this early in the morning to see that.  I have never gotten over her death and little surprises like this only make things harder. 

More Company

Well the oldest child and his wife and child got kicked out of the in-laws house so now they will be coming to stay here.  I must say I am not excited about this.  The wife is a pain in the butt who likes to pick on me for being short.  I am not all that short I am average height, but she is a little taller so she like to do short jokes.  The baby I am excited about him he is a good baby.  The oldest child I understand that Harry hasn't seen him in 16 years so I know why he wants him here.  But still I want our house to ourselves.  I guess I am just selfish. 

Music

So at work today I hear one of my favorite songs( Meatloaf: "I would do anything for love") and start to sing along.  And as I am singing I realize that I am not singing the same words that I am hearing.  I know this song by heart.  It occurs to me that because of the "explicit" lyrics of the song our store has a toned down version of the song.  The "explicit" lyric that they have changed goes:  "Some day I just pray to the gods of sex and drums and rock and roll..."  has been changed to "Some day I just pray to the gods of es and drums and rock and roll..."  Es?  Really, just what does that mean??  Seriously if you can't play the song the way it was written and recorded don't bother to play it at all.  And especially don't make up stupid don't even make any sense words that are not even words. 

Sunday Morning

Well we have had yet another snow storm and Harry is off at work.  I am home with the teenager.  I was hoping that this am I would finally have some much needed me time.  I am now watching Mystery Diagnosis.  I forgot how depressing it is to watch that show.  But seeing that the only other things that are on are Sponge Bob or Rugrats  I will take the depression.  I am not a fan of the younger shows that are out now.  They are all so rude and crude and teach kids to be that way too.  I guess if I am being honest the other kids teach kids to be rude and crude as well.  There are too many things that teach disrespect.  From TV shows to anything found on the Internet.  Then parents rights to correct those actions and attitudes are taken away be the state.  It is so bad that it seems you can't even ground your kids for the fear the state will take them aways.  I am just going off on tangents and I think that I should probably end this for now.....

Snow Storm

What could possibly be worse than being snowed in?  How about being snowed in with a teenage girl?  And not just any teenage girl,  a teenage girl that is not your own but your boyfriends.  Yup.  That is where I am right now.  Snowed in with my boyfriend's daughter.  We all live together as a family.  My boyfriend and I bought a house a little over a year ago.  I love having the house and being with my boyfriend, but sometimes the stress of a teenager stress me out.  I don't have any kids of my own and my boyfriend and I were going to try to have one together this year.  I say were because right now I am not so sure I want one.  You would think that after being together for so long that the teenager would have some type of respect for me, if for no other reason than that I am an adult.  But no.  Just now I went outside to shovel the stairs and walk way, I didn't even ask her to help but she comes out anyway and I think: "wow, she is doing something without being asked."  No, not really the case.  She was bored and decided to come outside to whine at me.  "Why do I have to shovel?  I am not going to help later when you do the end of the driveway for daddy.  I did it all last time...."  And on it went.  I told her that if she didn't help later then she would not get to use her laptop for the rest of the week.  I thought that she would explode.  Sometimes I feel like I have no control.  She is not my child so I really can't punish her and I feel like he dad doesn't want to punish her because she just come to live with us.  I can remember being a teenager and I know how hard it can be sometimes.  I get it, but I still had respect for people....well except for my step-father, but that is another story all together.  I never used to call my parents dumb and stupid and retard, as those seem to be our nickname lately.  I would have had my face slapped.  I am not saying that should be the case, but seriously a stern talking to and no computer or phone for a week would go a long way to showing "Hey WE are the ADULTS, YOU are the CHILD,  get you act together."  Maybe I am old fashioned or a sick in the mud or a bad person I don't know.  But I am an adult and I feel that I deserve some type of respect.